Struggling to Regain Control

Good evening everyone! As some of you I’m sure have noticed I haven’t been around much. Not at your blogs and not even here on mine. There’s been a few reasons for that. The first reason is I got into an old bad habit of coming home and doing absolutely nothing when I get home. This old habit came back when business got really busy and the Bigstridea contest hit at the same time. I’d come home pretty tired and with little time so I’d just sit back and watch the tube before hitting the hay. Now that business is levelling off and the contest is over that excuse is gone but I’ve still been doing nothing but watching TV when I get home.

The second reason I haven’t been here as much this past 2 weeks? I’ve been struggling to regain control of my food intake. The past week has been the worst this year by far. I’ve been struggling with it all month but it hasn’t got any better. It’s been a constant battle everyday. It’s been tough not to beat myself up over it since it’s constant. Most of the year it was easy as it would just be a meal here or a day there that I’d “cheat” or just overeat. But when it’s a couple of meals a day to the occasional all day it’s tough. Been a bit draining having to constantly remind myself to not beat myself up and at the same time try to pump myself up so I don’t completely crash and burn!

I know these aren’t great reasons for not posting but that’s what’s been going on with me. I’m just finally being honest with you and putting it out there. I feel kind of bad not putting it out there sooner as I’ve mentioned in the past through comments on other blogs that when bloggers put the bad up with the good it makes them seem more real and normal. That’s one of the reasons I’m back tonight. I have to be honest and put the truth out there.

So why am I struggling? You know I’ve been trying to figure that out for a while now and here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. In all previous weight loss attempts I haven’t made it past 7 or 8 months before I start to put the weight back on. I think somehow this is my breaking point. If I can make it past this point I can make it the rest of the way. I knew when I started it was going to be a long battle but when the first 7 months went so well I guess I forgot that.

2. I’ve been eating too many calories for 2 months now. When I stopped swimming and biking I never readjusted my Sparkpeople account to reflect a lower level of activity. Therefore I’ve been overeating for 2 months and REALLY overeating for 1 month as August has seen me go over the Sparkpeople number as well. I adjusted my SP account this morning to reflect my current activity level so I know the calories I should be eating now.

3. Lack of blog reading! May sound funny to some but healthy living blogs helped get me in the right frame of mind heading into this year. I need to get back to reading my favorite bloggers!!

4. Laziness in food preparation. I started out this year bringing most of my meals for my workday but now I don’t bring any. I tried convincing myself it wasn’t that bad as I was buying things on the road that I have/would buy grocery shopping. Well that was true at first but now realize it’s just gotten worse. I need to get back to bringing my own meals whether they be smoothies all the time or chili I make at home or something else.

5. TOO happy with where I am! Some days I want something and know I shouldn’t have it but do it anyways. Why? Because the scale gave me an awesome number that morning and I can afford to indulge. Or I think “I’m doing well it won’t hurt this once”. I mean if was to never get past where I am, I WILL be very happy to be here as it’s a lot better place I’m at now then where I was before. However I know if I’ve come this far then even if I don’t reach my arbitrary goal I can get a lot closer at least. I need to stop these small self-sabotages!

6. No weight loss goal for August. I usually set a goal each month but for August I didn’t. I think when I set a goal it puts me in competition mode and I do better. Simply wanting to keep losing like I said for August may not have been the best.

What am I going to do?
I’ve already started catching up on my blog reading so I’ll continue that and hopefully be caught up by Wednesday night.
I’m going to eat my normal calories tomorrow then start on the new revised amount Wednesday. It’ll be tough but I need to do this as I know I can do it and I’m not ready to settle yet.
Start bringing my own meals again. This will help both in diet and money saved.
Wednesday I’ll set a weight loss goal for September hoping to give me a little extra boost in the right direction.

I’ll put August in the books as a plateau of sorts or bump in the road. Wednesday is September 1st so time to get back on track. I can do this, I have done this before and I will do it again!

P.S: Thanks for all the congratulations everyone. Give yourselves a hand too though as I couldn’t have won without your support! Thanks again everyone!

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4 Responses to Struggling to Regain Control

  1. Pingback: Tlc’s Overhaulin’ Transforms Junk Cars Into Works of Art with a …

  2. Astrid says:

    It is so easy to get in ruts. It is kind of nice that you haven’t turned into this perfect “superman” who is super athletic and perfectly healthy. Okay, so perfectly healthy isn’t even a realit for anyone, but it is easy to read all positives on a blog and elevate the writer to an inhuman level. Thank you for being honest!
    ou are right, Wednesday is a new month. Frsh starts are great. Don’t beat yourself up. You can never erase all of the effort you have put in and everything you have achieved.

  3. Wes says:

    Peaks and valleys! Life is rarely straight and level. If you want to succeed, you have to over prepare! Be lazy on everything else if you want…

  4. We all struggle, have plateaus and regains. I think it is very important to actually blog and write about it, because the times that we want to the least is when we really need it the most.

    I always like to think about an airline pilot who is actually spending 90% of the time making corrections to make it to the destination.

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