Beginning to Care Again

Hello everyone! I’ll admit I almost forgot to write a blog post tonight. I’m just so out of practice it almost slipped my mind. I actually remembered while working out. I got a free one month membership to The Regimen and tonight tried my first workout. It’s pretty similar to a place I worked out at three years ago but I get to do it in the comfort of my own home. I’ll tell you more about it another night after I’ve tried a few more workouts.

Ok so the big question: am I okay? I’ll break this answer up into two parts:

Physically…
yes, although I’ve put a few pounds back on. Except for taking 8 days off running following my marathon I’ve continued my running 3 days a week. I’ve actually been working my way back up to marathon training. My thinking is if I stay at a marathon level I won’t have to work back up to it. I’m toying with the idea of visiting family in California in early January. If I make it there I plan on running the Napa marathon.

Other than running I haven’t been doing anything. I did do that cyclo-cross race but I meant steady, non-running activity. Tomorrow night I plan on changing that by going to badminton again. It’s been going on for 4 weeks already but work and travel and a NHL hockey game caused me to miss them. I’m looking forward to it as it’s usually fun and a good workout.

Mentally…
I think I’m almost 100% again. This is the biggest reason behind my absence from the blogging world and why I’ve put on weight. The way I’ve felt is this: I’ll know what I want and/or need to do yet part of me just doesn’t care and I’ll do the wrong/not good for me thing anyways. I’d feel bad every time I didn’t do the “right” thing but it still wasn’t enough. I really don’t know why I’ve felt this way but I do know it’s not been the only time in my life. I do remember when I’ve lost my way in past weight loss attempts it’s always been September/October when it’s happened. I can’t think of a reason this time of year would present a problem! It was suggested by a friend I see a therapist and I may but I haven’t yet.

If I’m finally through this bout it’s been from constantly reminding myself I don’t want to waste all the hard work I’ve done so far this year. My 40 race challenge has helped and hurt amazingly enough. It’s helped me to have a goal to keep running and therefore not put on as much weight as I could have. It’s hurt in that some days I’d be thinking that’s a lot of work it’d be much easier to just forget about it and eat whatever you want all the time. Luckily the last part didn’t come into my head too often!

TOMORROW”S POST:
I’ll come clean with my weight in tomorrow’s post.

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8 Responses to Beginning to Care Again

  1. Astrid says:

    I know exactly what you mean about not being mentally 100%. Some days it seems like you are going to inevitably take steps backwards. At least you can acknowledge that and keep moving forward. The fact that you have the goal of 40 races and are working towards it is so motivational. Keep it up. It will be worth it!

  2. I am glad to hear your are doing okay. Don’t worry about putting on a bit of weight – I think that happens to everyone in the fall/winter. You will burn it off soon enough!

  3. Jessie says:

    Nice to see you back! πŸ™‚

    About how you feel mentally: adapting healthy habits and losing weight is not easy, as you clearly know. I’ve learned in my classes that talking with someone (e.g. a registered dietitian or therapist) about changes you can make and ways to stay motivated can really help, especially with an individualized approach. I’m proud of the work you’ve done so far!

  4. Wes says:

    Peaks and valleys! Be consistent though, two steps forward, one step back πŸ™‚ I have a Facebook friend that trains 10 hours a week year round. His goal is to always be 6 weeks of training away from an Ironman. That doesn’t mean staying in Ironman shape all the time. He can add 2-3 big endurance weeks leading up to an Ironman and be ready to go. Give that some thought while figuring out how to stay in “marathon shape”.

  5. biz319 says:

    Yep, its a long road and I too feel like throwing in the towel and ordering an extra large pizza for myself.

    But, I have my husband as my support – I wish you had someone to lean on when times get tough – like I said – you can vent to me any time! πŸ˜€

    Hugs!

  6. Welcome back! You know, you just can’t be 100% all of the time. Life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes we just muddle through or roll around in the muck a bit. We tend to put enormous amounts of pressure on ourselves to be perfect, especially when losing weight.

    With that said, I find it very difficult to lose weight when training for endurance events. It is almost at opposite ends of the spectrum.

  7. Thanks for being so honest John! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost weight just to say “forget it!” and gain everything back!

    The only good thing is that by coming back again and again at least I’m not 700 pounds!

    My suggestion to you is take it one day at a time. Make a goal for either the morning or afternoon and by the time you know it the day has passed and you are still on track.

    Like my twin Biz said, you can e-mail me anytime if you need to vent or need support! slim-shoppin@comcast.net

    Hugs to you John!

  8. If you’re really struggling emotionally then maybe it is a good idea to see a therapist. You obviously have solid workout and diet routines that have gotten you through the past 10 months and don’t need help with that. Sounds like you need someone to talk to with solid advice.

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